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We account for 57 percent of college enrollment in the U. and earn 60 percent of bachelor's degrees, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, and this gender gap will continue to increase through 2020, the center predicts.But I'm still not comfortable with Rosin's assertion that "feminist progress...depends on the existence of hookup culture."The career-focused and hyper-confident types of women upon whom Rosin focuses her argument reappeared in Kate Taylor's July 2013 feature "She Can Play That Game Too." In Taylor's story, female students at Penn speak proudly about the "cost-benefit" analyses and "low-investment costs" of hooking up as compared to being in committed relationships.When I asked my friend Alix, 22, also a recent Harvard grad, what the biggest struggle of college dating was for her, she didn't hesitate before saying: "I am terrified of getting emotionally overinvested when I'm seeing a guy.I'm scared of being totally honest." I've felt this way too.In theory, hookup culture empowers millennial women with the time and space to focus on our ambitious goals while still giving us the benefit of sexual experience, right? As Maddie, my 22-year-old friend from Harvard (who, FYI, graduated with highest honors and is now at Yale Law School), puts it: "The 'I don't have time for dating' argument is bullshit.
Most of my peers would say "You go, girl" to a young woman who is career-focused, athletically competitive, or interested in casual sex. " when a guy "feels liberated enough to learn to knit, decide to be a stay-at-home dad, or learn ballet," Wade says.In the words of a fellow Harvard girl, "These dweeby Harvard dudes are picking from a group of awesome women.This creates a sense of competition, making it so that women often go further sexually than they're comfortable with because, you know, 'He could've had anyone.'" My friends on other campuses around the country, especially ones where women outnumber men, agree that guys seem to hold the dating power.I could've told Nate that I thought we had a plan..I was hurt when he ditched me..I was annoyed when he decided to pull away after wrongly assuming I'd wanted to make him my boyfriend. Instead, we ignored each other, knowing that whoever cares less wins.As my guy friend Parker, 22, explains, "I think people in college are embarrassed to want to be in a relationship, as though wanting commitment makes them some regressive '50s Stepford person.
Overdressed for the nonoccasion, I quelled my frustration with Trader Joe's maple clusters and reruns of The next morning, I texted Nate again — this time to acknowledge our failed plan: "Bummer about last night. The avoidance — and occasional tight-lipped smiles — continued through the fall semester. He was drunk and apologized for hurting my feelings that night in the fall. The culture of campus dating is broken..at least broken-ish. College kids do it, have always done it, and will always do it, whether they're in relationships or not.